Saw Mean Girls (2024) and I need to talk about it
*this article does not apply to genuinely abusive/controlling relationships/environments as psychological dependence can only be spoken on topics like that by a trained professional. Contact numbers for anyone suffering from this are at the bottom of the article.
Pop Culture Playlist for article: Yes, and? by Ariana Grande. Popular - Wicked Soundtrack.
The first thing I said to my friend when the credits rolled for Mean Girls the movie was “So, firstly, amazing, secondly, I didn’t realise that I was completely blind [metaphorically] when I first watched this”, to which she replied, “Can you stop speaking in metaphors”. Fair - but it’s kind of the perfect on-brand character callout considering I’ve accepted my role as Janice in this chapter of life anyway. Minus her whole ‘sabotage someone else’s life in order to find peace’, add in ‘finding peace in self in the midst of chaos and staying strongly aligned with own morals as a compass’. Because, if 2023 taught me one thing – chaotic environments can and do exist everywhere, sometimes against our own free will in our own homes, in the depths of upper class suburban households, the beautiful blue mountains to the streets of Southport, Gold Coast (a deeper article coming on this later).
Take me back to 2014, I’m in my senior year of high school, acting in a way, not majorly but certainly noticeably, misaligned to who I am - desperate to fit in. I’m popping on the mini dress, I’m chucking on one too many layers of Le Tan, I’m wearing the pushup bra. Essentially, I was doing whatever I could do to get a dose of validation, in an effort to repress whatever else was going on outside and inside the schools four walls (and my mind). And, I was probably doing this up until about 5 months ago to a lesser degree, with remnants of this previous mindset still popping up (minus the fake tan, and add in not speaking my truth/standing up to bullies etc.).
Yes, I was still me, but I was a diluted, chameleon-Cady like version of who I am. Looking for love in the masses that I didn’t necessarily morally align with, not talking about issues/beliefs I’m passionate about, not sharing my art in fear of ridicule, literally letting ‘mean girls (and boys)’ influence me from my innate nature of how I naturally approach people and the world with kindness. (Also, I’m not saying this to act like Mary Magdalene, we’re all inherently kind - I’m not unique in that).
Image source: IMDB, 2024
While people could and will easily complain about this seminal musical version of mean girls likeness to the original – it does exactly what It needs to do – emphasising core themes of the corrosive effect of bullying, the ill worth of revenge, and the lengths people will go to in order to feel accepted in a world that has, at one time or another, presented itself harshly to them. And acceptance can be intoxicating. To the point we forget that the first step in wholehearted inclusion, is the ability to accept ourselves. Which can be easier said than done.
Essentially, the movie writes a clear message on their ‘In’ list for 2024: Be FREAKING kind to others, and do so while making the world a better place - we’re all just trying to coexist.
This movie found me (again) at the perfect time. At times, feeling isolated as I struggle to let go of some unhealthy, yet meaningful, connections from a past life – while establishing new ones.
When we truly know nothing else apart from being judgemental, it can be extremely hard to get ourselves back on a path we don’t know exists. Even with a serious amount of contemplation, reflection and therapy, I still find myself thinking ‘Mean Girl’ thoughts (I’m human and imperfect). The difference is, I now have the hindsight to look at these thoughts as a reflection of me. What is it bringing up in me, and why?
The tides are changing people, and self-awareness is everything.
I can only wish everyone who can call out the shedding of their own inner and outer criticism of other individuals and groups sees this movie, you’ll leave feeling very seen and empowered. And if you think the world/people/certain groups are constantly plotting against you, it’ll be a great reminder to remove the veil of a very pinhole, and overall, unhelpful view (which I’m not shaming, I’ve been there).
I’m like a broken record when I say that realising we are all inextricably interconnected will change the way we all operate in the world. For me, it propelled me to stop judging others so harshly (aka, be a ‘bitch’) in order to fit in, and implement boundaries with those who do/not engage at all.
In saying this, there are really negative people out there, who will judge from the sidelines, and even psycholgoically/emotionally/dangerous people, who will try to cross into your swimming lane, and it’s more than fair to kick up a storm. Although, what I’ve realised is that you can get tired from fighting/conforming to this type of energy for too long. Sometimes, we just have to jump out of the pool and get into a new lane (maybe you even have to go to the beach/a different aquatic centre!?), rather than trying to compete with someone who’s got ear plugs in. Otherwise, we’re in drown territory. And I can honestly say I’ve had to be resuscitated (METAPHORICALLY!!) a few times, and these lungs are needing some TLC.
Luckily, 2024 is different for me so far, and I hope it is for you too. It’s the Year of the Mirror. So, I’m sure I’ve got a lottttt more to learn, apologise for, get angry at, love harder, and work through to become the best version of me.
The moral of the story is, don’t waste your time on people and environments that are happier to critique others, rather than looking at their own shadows. Forgive them. Move on. And just keep swimming*.
Also, the move is straight up funny too ya’ll. Meaning, like the wise philosopher Hannah Montana once said, “You get the best of both worlds!!!!!”.
*Again, this can be almost impossible to do with complex emotional attachments/genuinely toxic or abusive relationships/economic dependencies that run deep, and if you feel fear/unable to do that, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 1800 Respect. Additionally, if you have the capability, it would also totally be the best time to book a little therapy session my friends. 10 free in Australia a year ya’ll.